Welcome to China

                                                                                                                                    

 The art of Chinese banquet, luxuriant dining: spending money to impress people.


March 2010

So, I have been in China, Wuhan specifically, for about two and a half years now and read many books about business etiquette/ cross cultural relations/ et al, ad nauseum, and so on but will now add my own observations to the flood of ink that has been spilled by Westerners covering life in the Middle Kingdom.

When invited out to eat w/ a Chinese host it is universally understood they will pay… the “Dutch treat” is a new concept here and only catching on amongst young students who don’t have an income anyway.  Fine restaurants and even middling to not so fancy eateries all have what we would in the West call private dining rooms or over here are simply referred to as rooms.  They will invariably be on the second floor and be named after some Song or Ming poem or have a ridiculously long, however lucky number like 888 or 7777, anything except 4 which is a homophone for death (also never give a clock: ‘song zhong’ sounds like ‘carry to your death’ in Mandarin).  The guest of honor (you) will always be seated at the farthest side of the table facing the door.  I like to think of it like being a gunslinger in wild west times; you would never have your back to the door for safety.  Chinese food is not served individually, one entrée per person. No, all items are shared by placing the dishes on a lazy susan that spins in the middle of the table (8-10 persons per table).

For each place setting there is a rice bowl atop a small plate with a spoon for soups or eating finely cut dishes, a tea cup (no handle) and a 4-6 oz. cup for beverages and toasting (stemware style in fancier places), and of course chopsticks on the right hand side.  This 6-piece place setting sits atop a sort of place mat that is turned forty-five degrees so that one corner points towards the middle of the table and one corner hangs over into your lap. It is standard throughout China from Wuhan to Shanghai, Xi’an to Beijing. A wonderful thing about this style of dining and it’s accoutrements is comfort.  Wait staff will come around from time to time to add another dish or clear the bones from your plate along with any other trash you might have accumulated.  If it is a fancy meal, not at your average mom & pop diner, rice will be absent from the table. You may think, “What?!?  No rice? I thought all Asian, especially Chinese meals included rice!” Ah, so you would be mistaken.

In China, as well as many Eastern cultures, the food is not just for eating and the wine is not just for drinking.  Dining out is a status symbol and the dishes in front of you, especially shark fin soup or soft shell turtle are a conspicuous display of wealth.  LOOK! I can afford the outrageously priced delicacies! That is the message your host wishes to convey.  There will be a judicious amount of vegetable dishes, fish, and other more ‘normal’ food, of course. But the idea is not eating because you’re hungry; nay, it is to show off.  For the same reason the host may ask what you want to drink: beer, red wine, or bai jiu (Chinese liquor/ white lightning).  If you respond with “Sprite” he will be most disappointed, because in China the drinking is a deep rooted part of their culture. Interrupting the meal for a volley of toasts is par for the course.

It is expected that if you are a man, you will drink at least two or three 4 oz glasses of beer at the minimum before switching over to the lightweight stuff. Women and children are exempt from using alcohol and will invariably be drinking orange juice, Sprite, Coke, or water for these toasts.  Unlike western toasts, which can drone on for more than two or three minutes each, these are more of the ‘Big Fat Greek Wedding’ variety that involve little more than “Gan bei!” (lit. dry cup) or “Cheers!”.  The toasts may go on however long it takes to empty all the bottles at the table, so taking small sips is a good idea unless you think you can drink your host under the table.

Another fine point of etiquette in China, aside from waiting to eat and drink, is always leave some food in your bowl and some liquid in your glass.  This is vital to keep it from being refilled by an overzealous host as well as to show you have had your fill.  A clean plate will indicate that one is still hungry and wants more to eat.  This would be an insult at the worst and minor problem at the least.  Unless you are having lunch in a working class, greasy spoon type of place where you see other tables eating rice, DON’T ask for it.  At an elegant (by local standards) fancy restaurant asking for rice would be like telling your host “I am still hungry and none of this suits my taste, bring out the cheap filler.” The western equivalent for rice is potatoes or corn.  You would think it strange if a guest wanted French fries or mashed potatoes at every meal, right?  They have their place in the western menu as does rice in the east- not in fancy meals.

After all the bottles are empty, the fish has been picked clean, and folks are finished with the watermelon and sweet fried glutinous rice pastries, the host will ask almost rhetorically “Are you full?” to which you will most definitely say “Yes, I am very full. Thank you!”  If an older man he may say “What else would you like?” to which you can fill in any number of witty responses like “A million dollars.” or “Roll me out of here.” or “A Mercedes Benz.” hoping that he hasn’t understood you or knows English so well he can appreciate sarcastic humor. Then all will rise from the table, pocket the leftover tissue packs and go on the next part of the itinerary such as KTV (karaoke), another museum, or the local Tang Dynasty pagoda which was likely rebuilt in 1985 to attract tourist dollars after being destroyed by Red Guards during the revolution.         

Have a harmonious time!